I have a very strong belief that everything happens for a reason and I won’t apologize for it.
I believe with all of my heart the verses that say….Before I formed you in the belly I knew you…I know the plans that I have for you…you were born for such a time as this…..all things work together for good…
I’ve anchored my faith and life in them. So I do firmly believe that every single thing that we go through in life God had it planned before we were even born. That gives me hope that in every situation I can look for the reason, our suffering is not in vain.
April 2018, I believed that God was calling me to open a school for kids with special needs. I shared the idea with a few people that were in my life at that time. People I believe that God strategically placed in my path. They didn’t look at me and say “you’re crazy” they believed in me and encouraged me to go for it.
So I did! Full-speed ahead. I hired a business consultant to help me take the first steps in the right direction. I went to the bank to get the funds and I told my boss that I wouldn’t be returning to my job in August.
May 2018, a week before summer I received a phone call from Karsyn’s doctor. She recommended that I take her to Texas Children’s Hospital. I left school, picked her up from my moms and drove straight to the ER. I didn’t even pack a bag. I never would have dreamed that my girl would be admitted for the next 28 days.
She was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease that was attacking her brain. My little girl who was once the life of the party was now trapped inside her own body.
That first hospital admission I was still in “full-speed ahead mode”….while she was sleeping, I was working on my computer. Planning things out for this school that I was determined would still open in August. I knew God was the one who placed this dream in my heart so surely he would allow it to happen.
I had no idea the battle that we were facing. After her third hospital admission that summer I knew God was giving me a firm NO! There would be no school opening for now.
This whole medical mystery ordeal with her was mind-boggling and soul shattering. It crushed parts of me that I can’t even speak. I watched my girl suffer more in a year than most will ever suffer in their life. We listened to doctors tell us that we may need to just accept that this is her new baseline. One doctor told us that the treatment options that we are considering could kill her. I don’t think you could ever understand how hard those decisions are to make unless you’ve been there and done it.
We were at one of the best hospitals in the nation with the most educated doctors in the world and we heard things like…we don’t know if this will work…there isn’t a textbook on how to treat what she has….I’m not sure if it is worth the risk…I can’t answer what I would do if it were my child…the treatments that we are giving could cause cancer….she is writing her own textbook…….the list goes on and on!!!
So what do we do? Do we settle for her to just exist so we can be happy that we at least have her with us? Or do we take the risk and fight to get our girl back?
When you see so much potential in someone and you believe in them so much you are willing to take the risk for them!! She deserved it!!!
I have questioned so many times why God would allow her sickness to happen. I’m sure there are MANY reasons. Some we may never even know.
But I do believe I have realized a few of them.
God was preparing me to do the job he was calling me to do.
KCAcademy opened a year after I wanted it to.
It has been much harder than I dreamed it would be but in three short months I can see how God is using everything that we have gone through for good.
The other day I actually said out loud…”I wish there was a textbook on how to make this work” and in that moment God spoke to my heart and said “there isn’t one!!” If the smartest, most-educated doctors in the world can humble themselves and say “I don’t know the answers. There isn’t a textbook on this but I’m willing to try anything to fight for your girl” …..then you can do the same for the 27 kids I’ve given you!!
Yesterday, I sat across the desk from someone who I highly admire for advise. I love being around people who may not speak what you want to hear but they speak what you need to hear. I left with this realization….
Sometimes we do get caught up in life chasing the impossible. There isn’t going to be textbooks to every situation in life. There isn’t going to be answers to every problem. If we spend our time trying to figure out the impossible then we will lose the beauty of the moments that we are living in today.
I’ve witnessed bravery mixed with humbleness in a way very few people have had the chance to experience. And I think that’s the key to success!!
You don’t have to know all the answers but you must be brave enough to try anyway.
We don’t always get to know what the outcome will be! It could be the most amazing miracle or it could be unimaginable heartbreak.
18 months after Karsyn’s diagnosis we are so thankful that we didn’t let the fear of the unknown hold us back. After so many hospital admissions and treatments that I’ve lost count, our girl is completely back to her life -loving, sunshiny self!! God is good and SO faithful! We got our miracle!!
As for KCA….I have no idea what the outcome is going to be. I do know God has surrounded me with a group of people who believe in this as much as I do. We don’t pretend to have all of the answers but we are willing to try anything to make sure these 27 kids reach their highest potential.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!!
Stop chasing the impossible and focus on the possible!! Make a difference where you can!
Run with Me 