Dig Deep and Keep Running

As a little girl I dreamt about what my life would be like when I grew up. I remember playing this game called M.A.S.H. 

Here’s how to play:  

You get a piece of paper and choose your categories. 

Basic M.A.S.H. consists of only four categories:

M.A.S.H. (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House)

People to Marry

Number of Kids

Type of Car

You write down four options under each category, then you choose your number and eventually you eliminate all but one under each category.

And there you have it, everything you need to know about your future.

Am I the only kid who played this game??

The sad thing is under each category was the best of the best. Unrealistic!! You grow up thinking that your life will only be “perfect” if you can somehow manage to end up with all these things.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having nice things!  Someone once told me, “Don’t apologize for the blessings of God in your life.”  God is so good and He gives way more than we deserve, there’s no doubt about that. What happens when the “perfect” life turns out different than you dreamt??

You know what I’ve found out? Different is SCARY!!!

We were devastated when minutes after Karsyn was born the doctor told us that he suspected she has Down Syndrome.  My mind immediately went back to a few weeks earlier when I looked at my precious family and said “Look, Matt how beautiful they all are, just one more and our family will be perfectly complete.”  I can promise you my idea of perfect was not for our baby to have Down Syndrome. I can’t explain to you the overwhelming feeling of grief.  The dreams that we walked in with that day changed in a moment.  We were thrown into a whole new world full of unknowns!!

I know I never wrote down on that piece of paper that I wanted a child with special needs. I’m not sure anyone wishes that for themselves.

Why is different so scary??  It shouldn’t be!!!

I think different is better!

I’ve said hundreds of times in the past 3 years, “Karsyn has changed our family for the better!!” Our family would not be perfect without her!!  She is the most amazing little girl you will ever meet!  I promise if you are blessed enough to have her in your life you will agree that she makes it better! 

I know you are probably asking yourself, “What does this have to do with running?”  

I’m glad you asked!!

Because of Karsyn, we have been introduced to so many people and opportunities that we would never have known existed.  Recently, we were introduced to an incredible organization called Ainsley’s Angels.  The “Angels” (runners) push the “Captains” (individuals with disabilities) in local races.  What a great experience to run alongside these amazing people!!!  It’s life changing!!  So far Karsyn has run in 2 races, we love it!!!  She is my INSPIRATION.  She has to work so hard to do so many things we take for granted, yet she never quits and never complains!!  I have decided to start running with the same attitude that she lives every day. 

This past Saturday we ran the Contraband 5-miler. I loved that I was able to run with Karsyn, but I was very disappointed in myself.  I’ve been running for 5 months, and I’m really not getting any better.  

After the race I asked my friend Michelle, “Why am I not getting better??”  I seriously think Michelle missed her calling in life (not really she rocks at her job) but she is also a great motivator.  She always says something that helps me, and probably more than she ever intended.  So let me share her response to my question, “You know why?  It’s partly because you let yourself quit too easy, and partly because you haven’t learned to hurt.  Running is hard, it’s nothing but your brain, heart, legs and lungs fighting with the pavement.  There’s no back up; no one to tag team, no one to get your back, no way to coast and catch your breath. It’s just you and your inner demons vs. your inner drive.  Running reveals what you’re made of like no other sport because you are all you have to rely on.  If you want to get better, you have to dig deep inside and see what’s there. It’s the same amazing woman who bore and is raising 6 amazing kids. It’s in there YOU JUST WON’T LET IT OUT!!!!!  Your constant use of the words “I CAN’T” is the core of your struggle. Change that and everything else will fall in place.”

Okay, so I’m taking her words of wisdom and I’m using my sweet little girl as all the inspiration and example I need.  I CAN do this!!!!  I CAN get better!!

Spiritual Application:

Life is never easy!!!  We all have times in our life where we have to dig deep and see what we are made of.  We can overcome anything that comes our way.

1 John 4:4: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.  

God will use trials in our lives to make us stronger!!  

“It takes us experiencing the hurt and feeling the pain to realize who we are and how strong God is!!”

Running is HARD!!

Running has to be the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. 

I have always loved playing sports, some of my favorite childhood memories are meeting my cousins on the football field where we would play for hours.   Joe Montana (aka me), John Elway (aka John Jr.)  & Thomas (I can’t remember who he pretended to be lol)  

Then there were those special occasions when Uncle John would come out and be our ‘All-Time QB’!!  You would have thought we were in the playoffs.  This was SERIOUS stuff!! (Often ending on not so friendly terms lol) What a special guy my Uncle John is to me!  He would even let me practice with the High School football team!! I’ll never forget the game where I heard him say, “Ra Ra, I’m putting you in!!”  Do you have any idea how excited I was about this??  Unfortunately, my Dad quickly dashed those dreams!!  Which I so kindly remind him of from time to time!!  Poor Dad!! 🙂 

I think that’s the day I learned; I better find sports that girls are allowed to play!!   I think that is how Matt and I fell in love!  Who wouldn’t love a girl who could beat him in a game of one on one?? 😉  So, since sports are in my blood I really thought this whole running thing would be a piece of cake.  All you do is RUN!!   I’ll never forget the second time Michelle and I ran together.  She told me “Quit knocking my sport, you’re just mad because this is hard for you.”  She was right!!  I don’t know how she had me figured out so soon but she’s good!  It didn’t take me long (at all) to find a deep respect for all you runners out there!! 

You want to know my biggest problem??  ME!!  The entire time I’m running I focus on how hard this is. I’m waiting for the moment I start to feel uncomfortable, then I’m done!!  I can’t break through (except on the days that I run with Michelle).  Why?  Because she literally gets behind me and pushes me when I stop running!  Her advice, “You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”  So, that’s where I am right now.  My next race is in three weeks!!!  I better start learning to get uncomfortable.  I have to focus on something/anything other than “how hard this is!!”

Now, you know I have to apply this to my Spiritual Life!!

I have to share with you one of my journal entries:  

January 13, 2013: Today I drove the route that Michelle and I have run 3 times.  As I drove, I noticed all of these beautiful, amazing, massive homes along the lakefront. The scenery was breathtaking. The sad thing is I never noticed it before. I was so focused on how hard it is to keep running that I somehow missed all of this beauty that surrounded every step!

Life Lesson Learned:  Life is hard!!!  We all have situations in our lives that we have to deal with.  But if we focus on how hard it is we will miss all of the beauty and blessings that God has surrounded us with.  Lift up your head and look around!!  God’s handiwork in your life is quite breathtaking!!

Psalm 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living.

It’s Really Hard to Run Alone

Hebrews 12:1-3 (1) Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (2) Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (3) For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

There are 5 points to my Lesson on what I’ve learned from running.

I already shared the first one, but just in case you forgot, I’ll share again.

1.  You can’t let your circumstances stop you from running or cause you to quit

2.  Run With Patience/Take One day at a Time

3.  Endure the Race and Enjoy the Finish/ It’s never going to be fun and easy but the end result is worth it. (I’m still learning this one)

4.  You can’t be weighed down /Train your mind to say “I CAN” not “I CAN’T.” (Still working on this one too)

And the last point, which happens to be my favorite:

5.  It’s really hard to run alone

On January 19, 2013, I ran my very first 5k, The Advocate Cypress 5K. 

Michelle and I left Lake Charles at 4:30 a.m. to drive to Baton Rouge for the race. 

Along the way she shared a few songs, some inspiring stories and my new favorite thing to listen to, “The Grind.”  I think she could tell that I was really scared!  This was way out of my comfort zone.  I’m so thankful that she was there with me.  We arrived really early, which was a good thing.  It gave me plenty of time to make several trips to the bathroom!  3 to be exact!!  I was a little nervous. 

After we checked in and received our race packets, we went back to the car for some last minute inspiration!!  She played “The Grind” again and we had a sweet word of prayer.  We were set and ready!!  When we started to head to the starting line, she had a big surprise for me.  Underneath her sweatshirt, she was wearing a shirt she had made for me. 

How awesome is that??

She ran the whole race right in front of me, so I could read the quotes.  Believe me, I can not count how many times I read them.

At the 1 mile marker there was an overpass that we had to cross, then turn around and go back over.  She knew when I saw it I would panic.  I didn’t train for that.  I could barely make it 3.1 miles on flat roads.  I was not ready for that!  She looked at me, patted her back (for me to read the quotes) and said just watch my feet and let me carry you.  It worked!!  I made it over and back without walking!!!

(Thank You Zachary!)

Before I knew it, we were on the home stretch.  This is where she started pushing me hard.  She could see that the clock had just turned to 29:00.  “You are not going to let that turn to 30!!”  I crossed the finish line at 29:59! 

I love how at the end she gave me a push so I could cross the finish line ahead of her.  It was a self-less act on her part to stay with me, knowing she could have smoked the majority of the people there.  She will never know how much it meant to me!  The time she invested in me will never be forgotten.

We will be connected forever!!

(Michelle Kramer (Karsyn’s SLP), Cheree Caldwell, Melanie Sarro (Karsyn’s OT) (My sweet friend, Mel, got up on this cold morning to cheer me on! That meant the world to me!)) 🙂

Now are you ready for the Spiritual application??

I love this so much

It is really hard to run this Christian race alone.  We need each other!!!!!

God help me to run alongside my friends to help them to keep their eyes on you.

When my friends are facing obstacles in their way, help me to be there to carry them.

Help me be that friend they can count on to put everything else aside and join them on my knees in prayer.

God help us to cheer each other on!! 🙂

Proverbs 17:17  A friend loveth at all times….

Run With Me, Part 1

On January 29, 2013 I gave a Bible Study titled Run with Me. I shared 5 things that I have learned from running. Now I want to share it with you.

God has a race for each of us to run! Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

How should we run this race??

1. We can’t let our circumstances keep us from running or cause us to quit.

It didn’t take very many runs with Michelle to figure out that nothing stops this girl from running!! NOTHING!!

The first time we ran together it was 37 degrees and she picked the coldest place in Lake Charles to run. Why not run by the water??

Another time it was 40 degrees and raining! I thought surely she will not want to run in this weather. Her exact words, “This is Awesome!”

I quickly learned that you can’t let your circumstances keep you from running!!

Sometimes you won’t feel like running, run anyway!!

Some days you will have to run through pain!

Some days you might fail to accomplish what you want.

These lessons apply beautifully to the Christian Race.

There are many circumstances that come our way that will cause us to want to quit!

Some days we won’t feel like staying in the race!

Some days we will have to run through some hurts and pain!

Everyone has been hurt. Unfortunately it’s a part of life!

There will be days that we try to accomplish great things for God and yet we will fail miserably!

Let’s be honest, we all feel like a failure from time to time.

I am the mom to 6 amazing kids and most days I fail to give each of them what they need.

I fail at handling tough situations the right way.
I could go on but why focus on the negative? Right!!

Something I have learned recently, Failure and Quitting are two different things.

Fail: to decline in strength or effectiveness; to disappoint.

Quit: to depart from; to give up as in defeat; to abandon or forsake.

Failure doesn’t disqualify us!!!

It’s ok to have moments when we want to quit. No one is perfect!!

We fail but we try again!!!

I don’t want to be sidelined! I don’t want my circumstances to cause me to quit!

I asked Michelle if there was anything that would cause her to quit a race. I knew what her answer would be but thought she would also have a great story to tell me.

This is what she shared:

“In Nov. 2010 I did a half IRONMAN in Conroe, Texas. The temp was like 36 degrees and the water temp was in the 60’s. I wasn’t ready for the cold that hit my face when I dove in so I had a panic attack in the water for about 8-10 min because I couldn’t regulate my breathing. When I finally got my breathing under control I started to swim and got a Charlie horse in both calves and couldn’t kick. Thank goodness I was wearing a wet suit to keep me up. I passed within inches of a life guard and seriously considered stopping but my family was waiting on shore and I just am not capable of quitting. It took about 20 miles into the biking to really work out the knots in my calves. The run was awful! I cried during a lot of it. I wanted to quit, but didn’t! That’s the first time I ever walked in a race. When I finally finished I couldn’t even stand up. I was balling crying uncontrollable. Turns out I had a fever of 101.”

Inspired?? I Am!!

That’s the kind of determination I want to have! Not just in physically running but also in the race that God has for me to run!

Quitting is not an option!!!

When things get hard (& they will) that’s when you have to dig deep and keep RUNNING!!